Chocolate & Energy Overflow

Thank you for your friendly comments on my presentation and my career clothes! You all make me smile so much! I wish you could see my reaction through the computer screen.

I’m not at all surprised that some of you also catastrophize, and I’m glad that you find healthy ways of dealing with this rather unproductive habit. And yes, “catastrophize” is a commonly used word; it just hasn’t quite made it to dictionaries yet. It will in time!

This weekend was free of all catastrophizing! The Philly suburbs got dumped with about 2 feet of snow on Friday night, so Saturday was all about rest and relaxation! Carter and I watched way too much Gossip Girl and made paninis.

We grilled slices of zucchini, orange bell pepper and red onion in a grill pan sprayed with olive oil and sprinkled the veggies with salt. We topped whole wheat challah with 1 T hummus, a slice of low-fat provolone cheese, lettuce, and the grilled veggies, and pressed it all in the panini press. I’ve been on a provolone kick lately — it’s terrific with fresh veggies.

Last night, we made crab cakes from “Seafood Meals in Minutes,” one of my absolute favorite cookbooks. I have yet to make something I haven’t LOVED from this cookbook.

Not only were these simple to make, they were as delicious as any crab cake I’ve ordered in a restaurant . . . and a generous 2-cake serving is low in calories and fat. We topped the crabby delights with their perfect complement: key lime macadamia mustard from A Taste of Olive.

On the side, we had crisp vegetable salads topped with a homemade dressing of 1 T golden pineapple balsamic vinegar, 1 T smokey chipotle olive oil (both from A Taste of Olive), lemon juice, salt, pepper and oregano. Light and refreshing.

And we made a VERY special dessert this weekend. You know those fabulously decadent lava cakes that you order at fancy restaurants? Well, we found a nice substitute that you can make and eat in less than 20 minutes: Dr. Oetker Organics Lava Cakes!

I found the mix at Whole Foods and decided to try it out. My expectations weren’t high, but these cakes were quite amazing!

These are so easy to make: simply add eggs and melted butter or margarine (we used Promise, which worked perfectly), pour the mix into the 4 provided cups, and bake! You can even freeze them after baking and reheat them.

Hot, gooey, chocolatey paradise. Believe it or not, each cake contains only about 250 calories (not sure if those stats are for the mix only, or the mix plus the other ingredients — either way, those are some impressive dessert stats). One of my favorite parts of the weekend is taking the time to make new and delicious foods.

Another weekend favorite: invigorating runs. I love going to the gym during the weekends when there is no stress, no time limit, and less crowds. I experienced one of the best runs of my life this weekend. My legs felt warm and loose and I felt like the Energizer Bunny. I felt like I was possessed by something much greater than myself. When I got off the treadmill, I had barely even broken a sweat. It was a weird and pleasant surprise.

I appreciate these great runs because they don’t happen often and they make me thankful for my body, my muscles, and for finally respecting myself enough to fuel myself properly.

But you know what I appreciate most of all about the weekends? Of course you do! I appreciate every moment I get to spend with my husband and our “girls.” I’ve never mentioned this on my blog before, but my husband has been traveling all week, every week, for the past 6 months. We only get to be together on Saturdays and Sundays.

Luckily, his work travel is coming to a conclusion at the end of February, and I can’t wait to have him home during the evenings again. We have learned to appreciate every second that we have together, and we have a lot to celebrate this Valentine’s Day! We’re going to see Pat McGee (an amazing singer and musician) on Friday night, having our photo taken by our wedding photographer on Saturday, and brunching it up at Normandy Farm on Sunday.

Do you have any special Valentine’s Day plans?

Comfort Beats Catastrophe

Yesterday morning, I presented my first educational program for my new job! Along with a colleague, I delivered an interactive presentation about sleep and sleep deprivation to an auditorium of about 100 high school students. Check out my cute career garb. I love Express, the store that makes it easy to be professional and feminine at the same time . . .

It was definitely challenging to create a presentation about sleep deprivation that would keep the students’ interest, and I’m sure I will continue to modify it as I learn what works and what doesn’t.

When I first left the auditorium, I started thinking about all of the things that I could have done better, and then . . . I stopped myself. Instead, I started thinking about all of the things that went well and I patted myself on the back for all of the hard work that I put into the presentation. I reminded myself that the reason I am in this line of work is not to be perfect and not to change the world, but to try my personal best to help others live the most fulfilling lives possible.

I’ve been in a place that I never want to be again (in the throes of an eating disorder), and my heart goes out to those who are struggling in any way. As long as I know that my heart is in this and that I am working my hardest, even if I impact only one person, I’ve succeeded.

My attitude has changed substantially from last week. I have a few key phrases that I repeat to myself:

1. If this project/presentation/etc. doesn’t go as well I had hoped, nothing bad is going to happen. I’ll learn from my mistakes and continue to improve.

2. I am a loving person, and I work hard. Some people will recognize that, and others won’t. Some people will try to learn something from me, and others won’t want to learn. I am doing this because I care about people and I WANT to help. If they want to be helped, that’s wonderful. If they don’t, I won’t stop reaching out.

3. If I worry, what good will that do? Sometimes I turn molehills into mountains, when no one is watching me as closely as I watch myself.

With my new attitude, I’ve had a much less stressful week. I didn’t have a single stomach ache. I felt more energetic and happier. Even in stressful moments, I stopped and asked myself, “Is this really a catastrophe?” The answer is always, “No.”

Do you catastrophize? If so, what are some things you can say to yourself to turn down the volume on your worrying?

Try this: Instead of, “I did a terrible job,” try, “I did my best, and here is what I learned from my efforts.” Change your thoughts from self-deprecating ones to affirming ones, and watch your moods and your behaviors change for the better!

In addition to restructuring my unproductive thoughts, I like to start my day with a comforting breakfast. I try to give myself a half hour to cook and enjoy the most important meal of the day. Yesterday, oatmeal was on the menu.

1/2 cup oats + 1/2 cup skim milk + 1/2 cup water + 1 banana, sliced into some thin slices and a few chunks.

I cooked it all over medium heat, whipping it occasionally until the liquid was absorbed and it was nice and creamy.

At the end of cooking, I added a splash of vanilla and a sprinkling of cinnamon.

Then, I plopped it in a bowl and topped it with a teaspoon of brown sugar (which caramelized on top of the hot oats — mmmm!) and a tablespoon of NuttZo (melted in the microwave first).

Dinner was equally comforting . . . I grilled a tuna burger and a sandwich thin on a grill pan and topped the tuna with lettuce, light provolone cheese and ketchup.

On the side, I had some mashed cauliflower. I simply steamed the cauliflower for about 7 minutes, processed it on low with a 1/4 cup skim milk, and then stirred it up in a bowl with about 1 T Promise and some garlic salt. As comforting as a big bowl of mashed potatoes . . . and looked and tasted like ‘em, too!

It feels so good taking care of my body and mind. In the depths of winter, healthy comfort food and healthy, comforting thoughts warm me right up. What will you do to warm yourself up today?

Schedule Packed? Pack A Wrap!

Yesterday at work, I booked my first few presentations about eating disorders and body image! I’m going to be presenting to four 7th-grade health classes in March. I can practically taste my career dreams coming true! I’ll be speaking about eating disorders in general, and I’ll also share my personal experiences. Very exciting!

My schedule has been packed this week, so I made a super quick lunch on Monday night. It was so easy and tasty that I’ll probably make this a few more times this week.

Hummus & Edamame Wrap

1. Spread 2 T of hummus on a flatout bread.
2. Top with a slice of mozzarella cheese.
3. Add mixed lettuce (I used an arugula blend), chopped tomato and onion, and 1/4 cup edamame.
4. Wrap it up and pack it in your lunchbox!

If you’re looking for a great wrapping bread, flatouts are awesome because they’re so durable and don’t tear as easily as tortillas. I rounded out my lunch with a side of leftover veggies.

So simple and satisfying! Who needs boring frozen dinners when you can make a lunch like this?

What are your favorite wrap fillings?

Oats (and Cherries) In A Jar

It’s absolutely amazing what your mind can do to your body. Get anxious and worked up, and you can feel the aches and pains in your body. Relax your mind, and your body relaxes along with it.

[Photo Source: http://www.wellsphere.com]

I can’t get over what a difference I felt yesterday after working through my anxiety over the weekend. My stomach didn’t ache. I had a smile on my face throughout the day. I was much more productive because I didn’t worry about trying to be perfect. And even my dog was calmer because she picked up on my positive energy! Amazing! A little bit of positive thinking goes a long way.

Lesson learned: Rather than allowing your stress to pull you down, confront it, slap it around a bit, and defeat it.

And after you do that, treat yourself to a good breakfast to get your day started right. Breakfast always makes me smile, and oats in a jar are no exception!

I am happy to report that I made my very first batch of oats in a jar, affectionately known throughout food blog world as OIAJ. I’ve been blogging for over 8 months now and this was my first time making them!

For those of you who aren’t familiar with OIAJ, the idea is that when you get to the bottom of a peanut butter jar (or any other nut butter jar), rather than wasting all the yummy deliciousness that clings to the edges, you put your oatmeal IN the jar to soak it all up. I had about a tablespoon or two of peanut butter in the bottom of my Bee’s Knees container when I decided to make OIAJ.

I cooked 1/2 cup oatmeal, 1/2 cup skim milk and 1/2 cup water over medium heat, stirring frequently, until all the liquid was absorbed. At the end of cooking, I added a splash of vanilla and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Then, I poured the oats in the pb jar, mixed it all up with a spoon, and topped it with chopped cherries.

It was so warm and comforting, a great way to release tension!

By the way, I think cherries are my favorite fruit. I also like them simmered with butter and brown sugar and plopped on top of pancakes slathered with almond butter. Mmmmm! Hungry yet?

Have a cheerful, cherry-full Tuesday!

The Friendship Solution

Sometimes, solutions present themselves in ways that surprise you.

I wrote my last post to get my seemingly insurmountable anxiety out in the open, to break it into smaller, jumpable hurdles. What I didn’t expect was:

1. To find the stress relief I was craving at a party on Saturday night.

2. To be so touched by such warm comments from a few of you.

My friend Stacy had a birthday party on Saturday night, and I met some of her incredibly wonderful and funny friends. We spent all night playing games and laughing until we were in tears. It was just what the doctor ordered: I made new friends and felt so joyful and lighthearted. Thank you to Stacy, her husband Joe, and my new friends!

And then there were your comments, which were so touching. Tiffany, Lauren, Nicole, April and Shannon could relate, which was very comforting to me.

Shannon supported me, commenting, “Good job dealing with this in such a healthy way.” Annie brought up an excellent point when she wrote, “’I’m working on . . . being happy with the best I can do, which might sound cheesy but I think it is healthy.”

A former classmate, Danielle, gave me lots of great tips, including this one: “I have learned that you just have to do one thing at a time.” Another former classmate, Claudia, also had insightful things to say: “I think having some stress for me actually makes me feel happy– it allows me to ‘feel’ and to appreciate life’s layers of colors.” Beautifully said!

And ANOTHER former classmate, Dina, had so many great suggestions, like this one: “For lunch and dinner, I usually make one or two huge make-ahead dishes on Sunday, that can feed me and my husband for the whole week. That way I don’t have to worry about cooking or meal-planning during the week. I try to make stuff that can be adapted a couple different ways so it doesn’t get boring.”

Lara gave me incredible food for thought: “Sure, we all want to do well at work but when perfectionism interferes with quality life in such a profound way you really need to stop and re-assess. Did you feel such stress at your old job or do you think some of this is just first week jitters?”

I didn’t feel stress at my old job, and YES, I absolutely think I had some first week jitters!

Thank you girls so much for sharing your personal stories, supporting me and giving me great things to think about.

On Saturday, Carter and I did come up with solutions . . . some very much in line with your comments:

1. I’m not going to feel guilty or rushed by eating lunch at my desk. In fact, my supervisor told me that she grazes throughout the day. I can do reading and researching while I’m eating. I’m no longer going to rush through my lunch in the 15 minutes that I’m home with my dog.

2. I’m going to stop allowing guilt to overcome me. My dog is excited to see me whether I’m gone for 15 minutes or 5 hours. I’m sure she enjoys hanging out with the cat, watching squirrels from the window, and snoozing on the couch while I’m at work. I’m sure I’m much more tormented by our separation than she is!

3. I’m going to work on scaling back on the perfectionism. It’s the next logical step in my recovery. I’ve been a perfectionist all my life, and it keeps me from accomplishing all of the goals I set for myself. Also, when I take a long time to do a task, I’m not going to beat myself up for it. I work hard, and there’s nothing shameful about my work ethic.

4. I’m going to take deep breaths throughout the day. I naturally work hard, and I’ll be more productive if I allow myself moments to catch my breath and go easy on myself!

5. Scaling back on the perfectionism will also allow me to fit more into my day. Instead of trying to do everything to the best of my ability, I’m going to prioritize. Some things will just “wait until tomorrow.” To cut back on prep time for meals, I’m going to get some help from healthy frozen foods (like wraps and veggie burgers), prepared foods from Whole Foods and Wegman’s, and super-quick sandwiches. I’ll leave the cooking and prep work for dinnertime.

I feel so much better now, and I’m ready to take on week two!

Stressed Out In The Open

I’m feeling stressed. It feels so good to “say” (type) that “out loud” (online).

My stress has nothing to do with my job. I love my job, and I feel blessed to be working in such a supportive environment towards such meaningful end goals.

My stress has everything to do all the little stressors that go along with having a job. I hold my stress in my tummy, and as a result, I’ve had a massive tummy ache for the past week.

[Photo Source: fulleryouthinstitute.org]

In the past, this is exactly the type of situation that would have led to a binge. Last night, I felt a little blue, I emotionally ate, I ate more than usual, and . . . I gave myself an “I am human” hug. I didn’t relapse. I acknowledged my feelings and decided that I would put them out here on the blog to deal with this weekend. Knowing that I was going to deal with the issues that are contributing to my stress allowed me to free myself from the “I need to escape/binge” thoughts.

[Photo Source: www.lifefulfillmentnow.com]

Here are the reasons why I’m feeling stressed, candidly exposed for all the world to see:

1. I only have a half hour for lunch. Between driving home and driving back to work, that leaves me less than 15 minutes to eat and let my dog out. I could eat while I’m working, but that doesn’t allow me to enjoy the experience of eating. In either scenario, I’m eating without savoring, which gives me the same uncomfortable hand-to-mouth-but-no-sensation feelings I used to experience when I binged.

2. I feel absolutely terrible leaving my dog home alone all day long. When I get home, she runs and leaps all over the house, rumpling up the rugs in her excited frenzy. By the time I get home, it’s often too late and/or too cold to take her for a walk. If it’s a gym day, I put on my gym clothes, and she runs to the door in excitement because she thinks we’re going for a walk. I could cry just thinking about it.

3. It takes me a very long time to complete tasks. I’m a perfectionist, for better or for worse. My work is of high quality, but it seems to take much more effort and brain power on my part than it does for others completing similar projects. I spent about seven hours yesterday researching and writing one 500-word article and editing two others. With several other items on my agenda, I don’t think I should be spending so much time on a single task. Why does it take so much brain power for me to complete tasks? I feel utterly exhausted when I get home, and all I did was sit at a desk and work on one task all day.

4. Because I put so much effort into my work, working wears me out. I have so much energy and enthusiasm for my work, and when I get home, I feel completely spent and my stomach aches. When I go for runs, my stomach hurts so bad that my runs are sometimes painful.

5. It is difficult for me to fit everything into my day. I wake up at 6:45, get dressed, take care of the pets, make and eat breakfast and head to work until about 3 on most days. After work, I walk Kai if it’s warm enough or go for a run at the gym . . . if it’s a rest day, I do laundry or run errands. Then, I make and eat dinner, relax for an hour or two (the amount of time it takes for my tummy to START to feel better), get my clothes and lunch ready for the next day, blog, and then it’s time to go to bed and start all over again. I work a 30-hour work week and I feel like I can barely fit it all in. It makes me question my time management skills and wonder how other people do it all . . . at which point I begin to feel inadequate and my stomach hurts more.

Ahhh, it feels great to get all that out in the open. I hope I didn’t bum you out too much!

Here’s the plan: I’m going to spend some time this weekend having a heart-to-heart with my husband so that we can discover some solutions as a team. He’s an awesome listener and he always has insightful suggestions. I joke with him that he should be a therapist if he ever decides to change careers.

[Photo Source: funnyanimalpictures.net]

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Do you have thoughts regarding any of the following questions:

1. Where do you carry your stress? Your shoulders? Your back? Your tummy, like me?
2. What stressors are you facing in your life?
3. How do you deal with these stressors?
4. Can you relate to any of my stressors?
5. Do you have any insights for me?

All I have left to say is . . .

T.G.I.FABULOUS.F!

Sleep Stats and Portable Pasta

I love my job! This week, I’m writing a newsletter article about eating disorders awareness. Next week, I’m driving to a high school to observe my supervisor as she presents a program about mental health disorders to students. The idea behind the program is to de-stigmatize mental illnesses.

[Photo Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org]

We teach students that by labeling individuals with mental health disorders as “crazy” or “psycho,” we’re not only being cruel, but we’re also not giving ourselves the opportunity to discover that these individuals may also be described as “artistic,” “intelligent” or “funny,” for example.

I certainly didn’t enjoy being known as having an “eating disorder,” which is why I often tried to hide it. I wanted people to know the real me. When people discovered I had an eating disorder, they acted differently around me or they tried to “help” me, often in controlling and hurtful ways. I simply wanted others to: A — listen, B — let me be me, and C — suggest ways I might help myself without forcing those ideas upon me. In a nutshell, individuals with any kind of disorder want to be respected, loved and listened to, just like anybody else!

I’m getting used to this early morning schedule, and it’s actually not as bad as I thought it would be. As long as I get at least 7.5 hours of sleep, I’m good to go! Did you know the average adult needs 7 – 9 hours of sleep per night? I’m also working on a sleep deprivation educational program, so I’m saturated with sleep statistics.

[Image Source: http://www.principalspage.com/]

In addition to getting a good night’s sleep, I need to have my lunch packed and ready! I prefer lunches that are quick, easy and portable . . . and of course healthy and tasty! Here’s yesterday’s quick meal:

Portable Pasta

Cook pasta according to package directions. In the meantime, stir-fry some sliced mushrooms and mixed lettuce in canola oil spray. Combine the veggies with the drained pasta, a handful of halved cherry or grape tomatoes, 1/2 cup black beans, and light Italian dressing, and you’ve made lunch!

Yum, this was awesome! I hope you’re Thursday finds you well rested and eating deliciously!

Speedy Sandwich

Good morning readers. It’s so nice reading your comments when I get home from work — a great way to end the day.

Starting the day is a little more difficult. Though I’m not a morning person, I’d really like to be! To trick myself into thinking I’m a morning person, I always make sure I have a fun breakfast to look forward to. Easy to do since breakfast is my favorite meal of the day!

Yesterday, it was oatmeal + pumpkin pie yogurt + crumbled graham cracker + blackberries + roasted nuts + pumpkin pie spice. Fun in a bowl.

Lunch was a sandwich I made on Monday night. As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I’m on a quest to devise quick and easy meals I can prep the night before. This sandwich fit the bill as it was easy, portable, and delish! Try it for yourself!

Top some bread (I used Ricki’s, of course) with hummus, smashed black beans, lettuce, mushrooms, cheddar cheese and another slice of bread. Stick it in a tupperware, nuke it in the micro at lunchtime, and voila! Lunch is served. Crunchy pepper slices completed the meal.

Day 2 of my new job was even better than day 1. The Executive Director came into my office around 12:45 and asked, “Do you like your office arranged this way? Let’s get you moved in!” We spent the next half hour re-arranging my furniture and making it more “homey.” I think I may have the coolest director ever. I feel right at home and relaxed now.

The new job jitters have passed and we’re halfway to the weekend!

Quick in the Kitchen

Day 1 of my new job was exciting! Thanks for all of your words of support!

When I first arrived, I was shown to my desk. To my surprise and delight, I have my own office . . . and it’s BIG! I’ve never had my own office before, let alone a roomy one. The administrative assistant had completely cleaned it out for me and bought me a pretty little plant to welcome me — how nice! Everyone who works there is so warm and welcoming, which is always a huge plus in any workplace.

I’m so excited to stock my office bookshelves with my psychology, wellness and eating disorder books, all of which I’ll use as I develop educational programs to address mental health topics.

Our building also has a resource center with all kinds of book, videos and brochures. There are lots of great resources, including eating disorders resources, and I can check out the information and read it to educate myself. Can’t wait!

This week, I’ll be attending and observing some educational programs and writing a newsletter article about Eating Disorder Awareness Week. I’m busy already!

The challenging part about any job is time management. I have SO much that I want to do each day at my job and at home, and it’s tricky to juggle it all sometimes. I pack my lunch the night before and bring it with me to work, and I run home in the middle of the day to give Kai a potty break. She’s so happy to see me AND vice versa, even if it’s only for 10 minutes! I also pack up my gym bag the night before so that I can head to the gym immediately after work. Then it’s home, dinner time, hubby and pets time, some relaxation and blogging thrown in, and prep for the next day. I’m sure I’ll get used to it, but adjusting to change is always a challenge for me. I’m not used to being this busy.

The busy cloud has a silver lining, though, because I’m going to share my quick meal ideas with you!

Today’s quick meal: Veggie & Tofurky Sausage Pasta with Roasted Broccoli

Last night, I roasted some broccoli with 1 T peanut oil and garlic salt at 450 for 20 minutes. Always a hit in our house! In the meantime, I cooked up some whole wheat pasta shells and stir-fried 1/2 bell pepper, baby portobello mushrooms, red onion, and a chopped Tofurky Kielbasa sausage in some canola oil spray over medium high heat. After draining the pasta, I poured some pasta sauce into the saucepan, let it simmer, and added the pasta, veggies and Kielbasa to the sauce.

This dinner was so easy, and Carter and I relished every bite!

Do you have any time management tips that work well for you? What are your favorite quick meal ideas?

Life Is Delicious

Good Monday morning! Today is my first day at my new job, and I am nervous and excited! Adjusting is the toughest part — I’m looking forward to getting a few days under my belt so that I can relax.

Here are some of my weekend highlights, including yummy food reviews:

1. Carter and I sampled Tofurky Kielbasa Polish-Style Meatless Sausages. We were happy customers! The vegan and kosher sausages are big and juicy with a smoky flavor. They were super easy to cook and tasted delicious on whole wheat buns with onions, peppers and key lime macadamia mustard.

These big guys are made of organic tofu and non-GMO ingredients, and they pack in an impressive 26 grams of tummy-filling protein! I appreciated the Tofurky sausages so much more after reading that Seth Tibbott, inventor of Tofurky, built a tree house and lived in it from 1984 until 1992 to live as cheaply as he could while he tried to get his business off the ground. I’m sure glad he succeeded!

2. I tried Fiber One Caramel Delight because I thought it would go perfectly with the new caramel Oikos. I was right! Oh my gosh, this breakfast was so damn good, I could cry tears of happiness.

Caramel PB Banana Crunch

1 4-oz container caramel Oikos
1 cup Fiber One Caramel Delight
1 sliced banana
1 T warm Bee’s Knees, drizzled over the top
1 t semi-sweet chocolate chips

3. I made Carter my new cheesy veggie & bean pasta bake, but topped it with shredded cheddar and monterey jack instead of the mozzarella. Even better than last time, and he loved it!

4. I went to visit Egg Man. He’s almost ready to crawl!

5. On Saturday morning, we made banana and chocolate chip Fiber One pancakes topped with Bee’s Knees and ate them while we watched Gossip Girl DVDs.

I’m so glad we started watching this show — it’s well written and impeccably acted, and the seemingly superficial characters actually have a lot of depth. Chuck Bass is my favorite . . . such a jerk, so cocky, so funny, and yet, there is so much under his bad-ass exterior.

[Photo Source: http://www.gossipgirlinsider.com]

6. On Saturday night, Carter and I went to see Avatar in 3-D. I had no idea what it was about, had no interest in seeing it, and I was moved to tears. What a powerful movie with so many important messages.

7. After the movie, we read up on possible summer vacation destinations at the bookstore. We researched St. Thomas, the Florida Keys, Aruba, Bonaire and Jamaica. We’re leaning towards Aruba — snorkeling, bike riding, perfect weather, warm water, beautiful beaches, wild donkeys (I love all animals) — all that, plus a friend’s recommendation. I think we might be sold!

[Photo Source: http://hotels.about.com]

With visions of Aruba in my head, I’m headed off to my new job! Have a wonderful day, my friends!